April 04, 2007

Cat Milk

This was recently brought to my attention by my dear friend Kate. The good people at Whiskas are now selling milk especially made for your cat. Which is a nice idea and all, but they're calling it CAT MILK. Not Milk for Cats, or Meow Milk, or anything like that. Cat Milk.

Here's the package:

Are you kidding me? Didn't anyone stand up in that Whiskas advertising meeting and say, "Um, that's kind of gross."

"What? What's gross Bob?"

"Yeah what's gross?"

"It says Cat Milk."

"Yeah. Milk for cats. Cat milk. So?"

"But...won't people think we're milking cats and selling their milk?"

"Oh Jesus, you are SICK, Bob."

"Yeah what the hell's your problem asshole?"

"It's just that it says Cat Milk, and there's that picture of a cat, and it just looks like we're milking cat teats."

"How dare you!"

"Traitor!"

"You know what, Bob? You're fired, sicko. Get the hell out of my face."

Beyond the misleading name, the box itself looks way too much like a Soy Milk box.

I can just see myself accidentally grabbing a box of this instead of some good old Rice Dream. And then one morning when I groggily go to pour some milk on my cereal, there's that cat staring back at me as if to say, "I've been milked."

Here's a test. If you happened upon the following item in your local grocery store, what would you think?