August 22, 2006

Can I Get Extra Lard on That?

The answer to yesterday's quiz, which no one got, is...Pizza Lardo!

Pizza Lardo is just pizza (the Noid) with paper-thin slices of pork (the smiling pig) fatback (the pre-liposuction back) on top, along with some fresh rosemary (A rose + the Virgin Mary = Fresh Rosemary). I threw Mario Batali in there because I ate this crime against human nature at his pizzeria in NYC, Otto.

So that's it. A pizza with thin slices of glistening, transluscent pork fat on top. Just so we're all on the same page here, this is what lardo looks like in it's pre-pizza form:

Utterly disgusting looking? Yes. But sliced thin on pizza it was fucking delicious. I won't lie.

At first, I was like "Am I really eating slices of pure animal fat on my pizza? What, the hell, is wrong with me?"

But as I got into my third or fourth slice, I was more like "Holy fat this is some good shit. From here on out, I'm putting lardo on everything I eat."

By the end of the pizza I didn't know whether I wanted to shove a hose down my throat to wash out the filth I just crammed down there, or whether I wanted to order another Pizza Lardo to go.

So if you're ever at Otto, get the Pizza Lardo. You'll regret it, but it's one of those regrets that's totally worth it. Kind of like that time you french kissed your little sister's Cabbage Patch Doll.

Fun Fact: lardo has less cholesterol than butter and fewer calories than olive oil. So don't judge me.

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