April 15, 2005

Let the Foopiness Begin

As you can see from that little "Buy It!" link under the little Foop! cover in the upper righthand corner of your screen, Chris Genoa's first novel, Foop!, is now available. Where is it available? Well, the best place to buy it right now is Barnes and Noble and Amazon. It's also available through the kick-ass independent bookstore Powell's.

For those of you who like to have lots of options, I've personally also seen it available online through Borders, Books-a-million, and Chuck E. Cheese's, but I'm sure you can find it elsewhere.

If you go into an actual bricks and mortar store, and not a cyberstore, well, chances are they won't have Foop! in stock. It's tough, spooky world out there for small presses. Any store can easily order Foop! for you since it's only being distributed by Ingram, the world's largest book distributor. But there's something better you can do to help Chris if you find yourself in a store that doesn't have Foop! on its shelves. You can, and should, follow the following script which Chris and I have prepared for you:

Clerk: (arms crossed, scowling) Sorry, we don't have Foop! in stock.

You: (rolling your eyes and sighing) Of course you don't. Ok, well, do you have Jane Fonda's autobiography My Life So Far?

Clerk: (face lights up) Oh, of course!

You: Can I see a copy?

Clerk: (snatches a copy seemingly from the air) Here you go!

You: (suddenly and violently beating the crap out of yourself with the book a la Edward Norton in Fight Club) Help! Help! Jane Fonda's life story is assaulting me! HELP!

Clerk: (speechless as you continue to beat yourself into a bloodly pulp)

You: Please...please...please stock Chris Genoa's Foop! PLEASE! Just keep it in stock and I won't press charges for what My Life So Far has done to me so far. You'll never see me again. OH GOD HERE COMES BARBARELLA AGAIN! NO! OH GOD! STOP IT, JANE! I LOVED YOU IN KLUTE, I SWEAR! THE PAIN IS UNBEARABLE! STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT!

When the clerk finally gives in and agrees to stock Foop! you can walk out of that store holding your head high and whistling a happy tune. The cuts and bruises will only last a week or so. The sense of pride and accomplishment you'll have for helping an underdog like Chris will last a lifetime. It'll be as if you helped Rudy Frikkin' Ruettiger sack the QB on the last play of the last game of his last year at Notre Dame.

And then when people tell you that dreams don't come true...you can tell them about Chris Genoa.

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